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I recently bought this Evil Monkey on Ebay to curse my friends at our bi-weekly poker game. After 2 months of waiting for him while he did evil deeds around the world he finally arrived safe and sound. I honored him with this flattering portrait :)


From the ebay description:


This monkey was discovered by a friend and myself. We found it about 5 years ago. The monkey was in a old shed, inside of a box. This box was a small steel military ammo container. At first we opened the box, then closed and just walked away. The following week my friend, (jr) said he heard a noise coming from his shed the previous night. We investigated and upon opening the shed door, i was startled to see the monkey sitting on a shelf above its closed box. I asked jr if he had taken the monkey from the box. He replied that he didn't and said "strangely i think it was a clapping i heard last night". We brought the monkey inside and down to the basement. It sat amongst music equipment and next to a prosthetic leg on a table.


Several weeks go by and jr said that nothing unusual happened except hearing a few strange noises coming from the room. This wasn't uncommon coming from a room full of guitars saxophones, bass tanners, drums, wires, wires, and all kinds of vintage amps humming and buzzing.


It was a friday june 22, 2001, a rainy day, jr had called me over to help him buried his dog. He said that she died from old age. Afterwards cleaning up in in his bathroom i heard a clinging sound coming from vent, in his floor, leading to the basement. When i told jr, he replied, "its that darn evil monkey", he ran down stairs, grabbed it and tossed it back into the shed. I asked him what that was all about? He said, "nothing just i found my dog in the music room, and that monkey freaks me out".


Four years later the monkey is found in the basement next to a large dead rat. The rats decomposing oder let jr to looking under a old sewing table in the music room. The monkey was laying there and not in the shed this freaked jr out. He called me and most of his friends asking if anyone took it from the shed. He got no responses, i still wonder how or who, but i fear i know.


On that following day i find my sweetheart of ten years cheating on me, leaving me single to this day. After the monkeys reappearance i investigated it. Finding it has no batteries and testing it. Coming to realize that it doesn't work was a bit scary for me. For, i swear i have hear this monkey clapping before when no one was around it. I took the monkey and tossed into the trash.


months went by, on a late fall night jr was in a bad car accident. Three days later finding the monkey in the shed on the shelf where it was the last time. He tells me he burned the monkey that night but he was very drunk.


That was a little less than a year ago and the monkey has made its reappearance one more. I am selling this monkey to get it the heck out of my area. No bidders in michigan and preferably none in northern united states, i will charge no extra handling fee to get it overseas.


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Taken on October 12, 2006