When Beer Ruled the Earth
"Millions of years ago, when beer roamed the Earth, small liqueurs would ooze away in terror at the approach of Pintius Maximus, the fiercest of all the golden liquids ever to reign. Not a dry throat, however large, was safe from this hunter. Alas, these times ended abruptly with the coming of a giant meteor, whose passage shattered all but the most insignificant of glasses, leaving us with today only the tiniest reminders of that great lost age. Ale to the chief."